Criticize or Comfort

The other day as we were traveling I told my oldest son to put everything he needed in his book bag so when we get to where we are going he can grab his bag and go. 

To make a long story short he didn’t, we got to the place and he forgot to grab all the stuff on the car floor and it left behind .

I instantly jumped down his throat and chastised him for not doing what I asked him to do. 

His head and eyes dropped down to the floor and his body language sunk as I went on and on why he should have listened to me. He was disappointed in himself and then I went on to criticize all the things he has done wrong in the last few weeks. 

Here was my moment, as a mom I could shine. 

We have two choices at this moment. 

We can judge, criticize, and chastise our family, friends and loved ones when they “do something wrong.” 

Orrrrrrr

I could use this mouth to uplift him. Comfort him and use the opportunity to help him learn. 

There is something inside of me that says to help people change I must be very vigilant at seeing all the things they are doing wrong and point it out. I must judge them, and criticize them. 

Truth be told, I react that way because that is how I treat myself when I do “something wrong.”

I belittle myself with thoughts like, “Why couldn't you just remember that.” 

“Well, that was stupid Brooke.”

“Now look at the mess we have to figure out.” 

“If you just listened the first time.” 

Thinking that way decreases our opportunity to learn, grow and change. 

It keeps us stuck with disappointment, frustration and insecurities. 

It makes us less likely to trust ourself, move forward and develop. 

If we want to change our behavior towards our family, (especially as a momma) we have to change our behavior towards ourself. 

Use that brain, that mouth you’ve got to talk kindly to yourself, to comfort yourself so you can grow, learn and develop. If we want to be true to ourself, our family, it’s the only way.