Loving Abundantly

As we near this thanksgiving, I can’t help but think about how gratitude affects a marriage. 

It’s so interesting because gratitude and abundance go hand in hand. When we see life with gratitude glasses on our life becomes much more generous. 

Life FILLLLSSSSS up with so much love, and goodness. We see all of the positive traits in our partner. We see all the things they are doing right. We do this because we have trained our brain to see all the things we are grateful for. 

And it’s like a domino effect. The more things we are grateful for, the more and more we see. It comes in a fast and powerful way. 

I like to think about my love for my husband in that way. 

I can see all the things that I don’t like about what he does. Then that micromanaging and nit picky tendencies of control decays all the love I have for him. 

But when I think about all the things I love about my husband. I think about all the things he does that I”m so grateful for, more and more love comes pouring out.

So let’s be clear here…. You might not feel any of this for your husband. 

You might feel frustration, and disappointment. 

So this is what I want to offer you: 

You get to write whatever love story you want. Right now you might be writing a tragedy. That it’s all falling apart, that there is no hope, that there is no possibility for things to change for you guys. 

But it simply isn’t true. 

ALL marriages have the possibility to be a beautiful space for healing and growth. Yes, even yours. 

This is the how: 

Starting with conflict. When you notice conflict in your marriage, understand that this dynamic surfaces for a purpose. There is something there that needs to be addressed. This conflict is essential to opportunities of growth and change. 

Take ownership over the conflict, create a safe space by setting up healthy boundaries and then learning powerful communication strategies. Once boundaries are established you are able to love yourself more, and the more we love ourself the more we are able to love others. 

Once you have created a safe space for yourself, you create a safe space for your partner where you can put down the judgments and desires to control him. 

When you do this it allows your husband to be who he is, and you get to love him fiercely. 

Then, and only then are you and your spouse able to feel connected in a centered and aligned way. You get to show up for your husband as the powerful, divine loving woman that you are. You get to fill your life with love on purpose.