Working Mom
We think there is this perfect magical balance between working as a mom and being the mom.
When we tell ourselves that we struggle to find balance we ultimately are telling ourself that we are doing it wrong.
What if the way you are doing it IS the balance.
We believe that we aren’t balanced because we have created so many expectations for what should be done to feel “balanced”.
So first off we could come to peace with WHAT IS.
Nothing has to change for us to feel balanced. We just have to recognize that IT IS, and that we can feel peaceful when we are at home and focused on work when we our at work.
One of my favorite tricks I learned when I was a new mom was this:
Sit in your car in your work parking lot or whenever you are switching gears for 5 full minutes WITHOUT a phone or any distraction.
Take a quick inventory of how your work day went, recognize the things that went well, make notes of things you could do differently tomorrow. Tell yourself one thing you appreciate about yourself in the work place.
Then take 5 minutes to catch up on text messages, emails, return phone calls and write down the things you need to remember. **I would also encourage you if you haven’t used the restroom, or ate your lunch to take a moment to do those things as well.
Then and ONLY then can you leave the work parking lot to head for home.
Why is this crucial to our finding of “balance” as a working mom?
Because when we walk in the door at home and put our mom hat on we don’t want to be distracted with our unfinished projects or the fact that we are starving and have to pee.
We are present.
We don’t have balance when we aren’t taking care of our basic human needs first so we can give all that we have to our career and our family (including those hunky hubby’s we have).
Close one door before you open another door (phone time is scheduled)
Decide what You really want
Structure your days around that
I know this because I do it a lot. I don’t give myself the necessary space to not only complete something, but close that door if you will.
My brain does NOT like to switch gears. It likes to focus on one thing at a time. When it is still thinking about work when I get home, I might as well not be there. I’m absent minded, unintentional in my behaviors with my family and distracted.
This is NOT who I want to be when I show up at home. This is me being out of balance and a hot mess.
After having my first son and returning back to work I had this urgency that followed me. I was nursing him so I made the choice to pump at work while I was away, I planned it so I would pump once and then at the end of the day make it back to him to be able to breastfeed him before he went to bed.
Bad Idea.
I set myself up for failure. I would rush out of work, scramble to get my stuff done, hurry home with my stomach grumbling because I hadn’t eaten lunch or dinner by 8pm at night. I hadn’t used the restroom, or even stretched my back out after being on my feet for 12 plus hours.
I was barely functioning by the time I had returned home. Tired, Hungry, Uncomfortable, even in pain. Oh and engorged with milk.
In that period of my life I hit a wall, I was grateful for that wall because it allowed me to self reflect and decide what I really wanted. I knew that it was a period of transition so I gave myself plenty of time to take a good look, make a decision and plan out a new route.
After I made a decision of looking at doing it another way, I planned it out. I communicated with my husband where I am and the changes I wanted to make, requesting his support in the matter.
Work Life Balance IS possible for YOU! Be sure to slam shut one door before opening another, Decide what changes you want to make and THEN make the necessary changes to your schedule. This life is yours to live, we have the wonderful opportunity to lead it, direct it and be intentional with it. (That way we aren’t bitter and burnt out in the meantime!)
