A Childs Pattern of Growth

One of the great blessings in life is to see our children hit a new milestone in their life. Yesterday my 6 year old got out his old ‘hand me down’ bicycle and hoped on. We have a paved driveway that is on a slant. Starting at the garage it goes downhill right to the busy road. 

Every time the garage door opens and the kids want to ride bikes, scooters or use their roller blades, I hop in my car and park it cockeye sideways at the end of the driveway, using it as a barricade between my boys on wheels and the busy road. This is our safety zone. 

It allows them to practice there biking skills down hill without the risk of them going into the road. 

My 6 year old has spent the last few years totally obsessed with his red scooter he got for his 5th birthday. He would carry it around everywhere he went. When he was driving his hot wheels car he would put it in the trunk of the car. 

He loved his scooter, but I noticed that he wasn’t making an effort to ride a bike at all. He got on a bike a couple of times but it just fell over on him so he would leave it fallen on the driveway and just walk away. I tried multiple times to help him, but he had no interest at that time. 

But yesterday he got on that bike and did multiple passes starting at the top of the driveway near the garage and balancing on his bike with his feet in the air (because he hasn’t gotten the pedaling down yet) and then quickly steering into the grass on the side of the driveway to slow himself down so he doesn’t run right into my big black car parked at the end of the driveway as a safety feature. 

I was inside doing dishes peering out the window as I saw this unfold. I left the kitchen sink half full of dirty dishes to head outside. 

I dropped what I was doing to be with my son in that moment. I met him out there grabbed his handlebars and began to walk him through the process. I praised him that he was “riding his bike”. I told him how proud I was of him, to try something that was hard. And I offered to help him. 

This was it. This was the moment as parents we want to be there for. The moment when we see their desire to improve on something. We must grab those opportunities to love them and encourage them through it. That is our chance to drop the dirty dishes in the sink. When we see our kids working on something that reigns supreme for ANYTHING else we could be doing. 

We want to help them create patterns of growth. We want to begin to set these itty bitty baby blocks now. Starting with a discovery. 

We want our children to build confidence to try new things. So starting with the tiniest interest in a new opportunity is where it begins. 

After they make a discovery that it is something they are interested in and have a desire to try, we then ask them what their plan for learning that new skill is. 

Let them take the lead, we just get to ask lots of questions to get there brains thinking. 

Then they Act on their plan. That’s when we get to jump in, offer all of the help we can muster (and/or how much help they want). 

If they want to sign up for piano lessons, or football etc that is our time to shine. It’s out opportunity as the parent to provide a space and means to achieve their goal. We are the machine that helps them achieve. 

This is great for so many reasons. It not only allows us to help our child continue to develop this pattern of growth and try new things. This is our opportunity to be at the cross roads as the wise President Benson said, in a article titled “Blessings of Motherhood” given in May 1987 said, 

“First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are coming or going—when they leave and return from school—when they leave and return from dates—when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.”

“Second, mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and joke with them, sing with them, play with them, cry with them, hug them, honestly praise them.”

The goals that THEY set should be our highest priority. They are the opportunity for us to be at those “crossroads” where we have a common denominator. If our children are playing baseball we naturally start loving baseball. We ask questions, we show interest. We attend every practice, every game and know every players name. 

This gives us the opportunity to support them and encourage them. Showing interest in their interests doesn’t always come easy. 

My boys love to talk about things that don’t normally get me to excited. Like Pokémon, Minecraft and Dudeperfect. But this is it. The classic situation is where mom and dad try to mold there child to show interest in the things they like. If mom likes to sew she wants her daughters to be sewers like her. If dad loves football he wants his boys to play just like him. 

This is the pattern we could review and rethink. What if instead of getting our children to show interest in our interests, we at a higher thinking allowed our brain to learn a new skill. We picked up whatever hobby or goal our child is intrigued by. Wouldn’t that be an experience. 

Let your child lead, show interest in their interests with support and encouragement. Drop those dirty dishes in the sink to be at the crossroads for your children. This is when it all begins, this is our opportunity to help them create patterns of growth that will bless them the rest of their life. This world is full of endless possibilities and new things. Our job as parents is to build just enough confidence that they are willing to try!