Improve Relationships, Get rid of Stuff
Yeah I said it. Then again this is the part I’m supposed to tell you that having “stuff” isn’t the problem, it's how we think about said stuff.
BUT….. stuff can trigger a whole bunch of thoughts that cause us to be distracted, overwhelmed and even frustrated.
This week I have been completely overstimulated with all of the Christmas hauls filling MY halls and home. (Now please don’t take this the wrong way. We feel very grateful and fortunate) BUT (lots of buts today) that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t overwhelm me.
When all I see is new toys and games that don’t have a home and pieces that have been misplaced and lost and broken ….. I feel all the emotions and just want to retreat.
Yes, retreat, away from my family.
Why? Because I don’t want to deal with the thoughts I have around the stuff.
That’s why I’m suggesting that we change our environment to allow us to improve our relationships.
Last night I was determined to get rid of stuff. I was on a mission. I had piles of toys to be donated here and piles of broken things to go in the garbage there. I was finally making decisions about what should stay and what should go. A lot of times the reason we accumulate things is because we delay the decision!
I had been holding onto childhood toys( yes my toys, Polly Pockets, Playskool Schools, my American girl doll) all because I was procrastinating feeling an emotion. I didn’t want to feel sad about letting go of something I cherished for so long. But it took me about 90 seconds to process that emotion and I’ve been holding onto this stuff for 20 plus years.
Okay so we know we hold onto stuff because we are delaying decision making. And we know stuff can trigger some thought patterns and ultimately distance ourself from our family and our home.
So what does this mean??
It means that we need to be intentional about what we want in our home and what things need to go so we can achieve that.
Look at one room in your house that causes you some grief. Ask yourself why? What is holding you back from enjoying your family or your spouse?
A lot of times my delay of decision making is staring me right in the face while I’m trying to enjoy my family. It’s screaming at me! I can see it out of the corner of my eye while I’m trying to play UNO with my kids.
Last night I had finally decided that I was going to make a decision about an old laptop I had that wasn’t in working order anymore. So I sat down and said to myself that I was going to google how to wipe it clean so we could use it again or I had to get rid of it. I had held onto it for two years thinking eventually I was going to do something with it. I had put it in the car a couple of times thinking I was going to drop it off to someone to fix. But didn’t. I had thought about it so many times but just did nothing.
Last night the boys were all laughing and playing and I was in the kitchen staring at this old laptop trying to figure out how to fix it. And finally I said… why!??
I have spent so much time on stuff I am missing out on the whole reason why I don’t want stuff in my life. I want my people.
I want to stop being so distracted by the stuff so that I can enjoy my people. That I can get on the floor and roll around and do whatever silly thing they want to do.
When i'm picking up broken toys and trying to put new batteries in the thousands of remote control cars I can’t be in a space where I am enjoying my children.
When I walk into my bedroom after the kids have gone to bed and see toys all over my floor and piles of things staring at me I can’t (okay can’t isn’t the right word, but maybe “have a harder time”) to relax enough to connect with my partner.
So what CAN we do??
That's it.
