Light that Spark (in yourself)

What I’ve learned more than anything in the last 18 months is this…

To truly change (for the good mind you) in absolutely ANY area in our lives we have to start with us.

To lose weight and keep it off, we start with us.

To improve our marriage and feel secure, we start with us.

To feel peace and security in our lives, we start with us.

To find financial security and growth, we start with us.

It all comes back to us and what kind of relationship we have with ourself. Do you have your own back and feel confident enough to make a decision and move forward? Or do you constantly second guess yourself and set yourself up for failure?

Here are some of the real itty bitty, nonglamarous, basic thoughts that I started with as I began to develop self trust and acceptance:

I will figure it out.

I’m not going to die if I ________ (fill in the blank, a lot of times something anxiety producing like speaking in front of people or posting on social media) .

Let’s try and see.

I’ve got this.

I have my own back, no matter what.

This is hard, but I can do hard things.

Who I am is enough.

I’m safe to _____ (fill in the blank).

I can handle anything that comes my way.

These are the little itty bitty baby thoughts that began my journey to develop self trust, self acceptance, and self love.

I never really understood that I DIDN”T have a relationship with myself. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what it even looked like.

Now mind you there is a difference between self confidence and arrogance. I want to explain the difference. Arrogance comes from this energy of trying to do new and hard things to prove to other people that you can do them. It might seem innocent but a lot of times the reason we do this is because we are competing with ourself that we can do x,y,z. It’s not this “I love myself so I am going to try _____” more of a “I have to do _______ to prove to myself that I am enough”.

And them most times when we fall short we have a flooding of self sabotaging, and self critical thoughts.

To examine what kind of relationship we have with ourself, we could do a little check in. What do I think of myself? What do I love about myself? If you come up blank. Hmmm we may have work to do.

Or maybe there not so nice of thoughts. Still have work to do.

It starts with just a little bit of self reflection. We don’t always, or ever really, make time for this in our lives. A lot of times this is the LAST thing we would prioritize on our laundry list of to dos.

But I am PROMISING YOU this. If you can reignite the spark in YOU FIRST, everything (and I mean everything) in life is so much easier. We learn to trust ourself enough to try new things. We learn to love our body so we are eager to go places, get in that swim suit and do that thing! We believe in our abilities enough to make decisions and have our own back and move forward. We know who we are, we love who we are and boomerang into our next best self.

This is the way.

This is the answer to your biggest challenges, worries and fears! Know yourself, love yourself and become your best self. What do you have to lose? You’re pretty miserable where you’re at aren’t you? Give it a try!