Mom Sex

You know what I love to talk about? 

Sex. 

I like to talk about it because not many people do. 

I grew up in a Christian home (that I absolutely loved by the way) but a lot of the conversation about intimacy and sex we had was as follows: 

Don’t have it. 

It is a beautiful experience to be saved for when you are married. 

Which is what I will most likely preach to my boys too. 

But that being said I didn’t know too much about it when I was first married. The only advice I got was from my dad (can you believe that??). He said, “Sex is like a light switch”. He went on to explain that he and my mom had always taught my siblings and I abstinence (aka a light switch turned off). You just don’t do it. But when you get married you turn that light switch on. I interpreted it as, you go all in, don’t hold back. 

That advice has served me well. 

But not all women enjoy sex. The more women I talk to about this subject the more I see it. 

Some women I talk to just don’t have it because it’s painful, awkward, uncomfortable or just not enjoyable. 

Some women I talk to have experienced little or no pleasure associated with it. 

This is the norm my friends. And it’s okay. 

But I want to offer you some thoughts about female pleasure especially. I have taken some courses on it, I have studied it and I am so incredibly passionate about this message. 

(*Disclaimer I am very wildly straightforward with this so if its too much, stop now) 

Sex is NOT all about penis penetration. ( I told you it was going to get a little crazy here) 

I’m blushing a bit here but this is SO important for you to know mommas!

The goal of sex, or sexy time is NOT orgasms, your goal should be pleasure. 

(HEAD EXPLODING MOMENT HERE) 

Yes, pleasure. Pleasure is our ultimate goal. We want to teach our brain and our body to develop more opportunities for pleasure. Our brain loves pleasure but when we have had numberless experiences in regards to sex and there is NO pleasure. Just pain, discomfort (physichal) and then disappointment, and embarrassment(emotional) we have a double whammy. We have an experience that has more than two negative facets associated with sex. 

No wonder we avoid it. 

Our lower caveman brain loves to avoid negative emotion. So that is why WE avoid sex sometimes. We have this amazing arsenal of excuses why we can’t have sex at any moment. (Guilty**) 

But when we can break through all the mind drama that we have tightly wound up around sex, then something magical happens. 

We step into that powerful, passionate, confident role as the woman we are meant to be.  It is our birthright to experience pleasure. We are designed by God himself with these beautiful bodies that are to experience pleasure and pain. We have become really good and experiencing pain (emotional and physichal). But how well do you know the pleasure side of you? How tuned in are you to your sexuality? 

And if the answer is, not that well. 

I have news for you, you’re not alone. 

My mission is to break down these belief systems, to help women navigate through it so they can be turned on, powerful, and passionate in all parts of their lives. Sex is intended for us. We are designed to experience pleasure as the amazing women we are. Don’t. Ever. Stop.