Waiting For That Wedding Ring

It is our culture that the male in the relationship purchases an engagement ring and in his own time “pops the question”. 

In our culture we believe that the woman should wait patiently for the man to ask her to marry him. 

I think we’ve got it all backwards. 

Really, I’ve got a lot to say about this. 

This way of thinking leaves the female (or one person anyways) in the relationship powerless. Sitting around, hoping, praying, waiting, depending, (all the very powerless emotions) for something to happen. 

Holding her breath, until that one moment where the man gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him. 

I find the whole thing a bit interesting, to be honest with you. 

It reminds me of all my miserable birthdays I’ve had in past years. 

I remember year after year being disappointed on my birthday because nobody did anything for me. 

And that isn’t really true at all. ‘Nobody’, and ‘anything’ should be replaced with ‘lots of people’ did ‘something’ but not what I wanted. 

But I’m being honest here, I made NO EFFORT to decide what it was that I actually wanted to do on my birthday. 

I was a victim to my own birthday. 

An object, waiting to be acted upon. Believing it was other people that caused me to enjoy myself on my own birthday. 

That my friend, is why year after year I was disappointed. 

It left me powerless, quick to blame, and unhappy. 

So why do we start our most cherished relationship in our life with this mentality? 

Why do we depend on someone else to make us happy? Why do we wait without communication and understanding?  

Why do we wait around for someone to decide that they want to commit to our relationship in a big way? 

I don’t get it. 

Why can’t we decide together, pick out the ring together, communicate with love and trust and talk out what we want, how we want it to go and when it will happen? 

What if we decided to give each other these symbolic rings in a place that is special to both of us? Where we can both celebrate that we are committed and want to marry each other?

Sorry for all the questions, I just have a lot of curiosity over the subject. 

I knew my husband and I were getting married early on, how did I know? Because we talked about it. 

I knew my husband was going to give me our engagement ring, how did I know? Because we went to the store together to pick it out. 

How did I know my husband was going to propose to me? Because we drove together to my parents house when he asked my mom and dad for his blessing to marry me. 

We started all of this out together. Communicating every inch of our relationship. Every detail. 

And it hasn't changed. (except that one time he bought a trailer and didn’t tell me) 

He also knows exactly how I want to celebrate my birthday each year now. hahah

Because I don’t sit around and wait for my relationship to change without my contribution to it.

A relationship only changes when YOU decide, communicate and progress together. 

One person in the relationship might have wonderful plans and dreams about what their future looks like. But until we both communicate, and understand that what it is we want is parallel. Only then can we move forward, intertwined in the details of it all.