Crappy Morning Momma

This morning I yelled at my kids, I was anxious and feeling stressed about getting out the door to get to the gym at a certain time. I was feeling frantic and trying to get people to move faster by yelling. 

I told my son to get in the car and let’s go. He was complaining about his jeans be stuck in his boots and was whining. I was NOT patient and just scooped him up kicking and screaming and put him in the car. On the way to putting him in the car I accidentally bonked his head on the roof of the door and he was crying and saying, “You bonked my head.”

It wasn’t my best morning. 

But you know what I realized in that moment.

I used to have one of those mornings. Every. Single. Morning. 

That was my “norm”. For sure. 

Every morning I would yell at my kids to hurry up. Every morning I got frustrated and freaked out at somebody. Every morning I was late for work. 

And every time I got to work I would feel guilty. 

But now I only have one of those mornings once in awhile. 

So let me tell you this: 

No amount of preparation the night before, or getting up early can help you break out of this cycle if you’re not doing the work on the inside of you. 

I remember as a young mom I would stay up late to pack lunches. Pack all the bags, get the outfits laid out, prep the breakfast. I did all of that thinking that would make my morning better. 

But it didn’t. 

What makes our mornings better is dealing with all of the crap that goes on inside of our head so we can think clearly, feel sane, and move forward without unrealistic expectations for ourself and our children. 

When I am anxious about getting out the door on time, we don’t get out the door on time. (And also I yell at everybody and then feel guilty) 

When I don’t take care of me first, I then don’t take care of my children the way I want to. 

Mornings used to be hell. But now I kind of like them. I do the same exact thing every morning. The kids know exactly what to expect, what they need to do before their “coats and boots” alarm goes off on my phone. 

They also know what happens when they don’t get their morning jobs done before the alarm goes off. They then loose screens the next morning. 

It’s clear, because in my head I am clear. 

It’s consistent, because in my head I am more consistent. 

I also give them grace and offer them help with their jobs, because I am in a place now where I give myself compassion and grace when I need it. 

Mommas too often we overlook what is happening inside of us. We are so convinced that the children, the dogs, and the things outside of us is the problem. When we believe that to be true, we are anxious because we think we have to change things to feel better. But what we don’t see is WHY we are anxious, why we feel stressed, and why every morning is the exact same hell it was the day before. We just repeat history, over and over again. If you REALLY want to see change in your mornings. If you really want to see a shift you’ve got to do the work. Cheers to less crappy mornings Mommas!