Laundry Parameters

 My kids are fluent in laundry scavenging. 

Sometimes I see them digging through piles of clean clothing looking for a clean sock, or clean underwear. 

They know right where to find it. 

At one point in my life I thought laundry was the bane of my existence as a mom. It was like a dark cloud that always followed me around because everywhere I turned there was more dirty laundry. 

I remember after having my third baby thinking, ‘How could this tiny little human baby bring in so much more laundry?’ 

But as of today I spend about zero mental energy thinking about laundry. 

I’ll tell you why. 

Because I don’t have to do it all to feel like I am succeeding as a human mother. 

I thought…….

Clean, folded, put away laundry, ALL completed = Productive, Successful Mom

Which would make the flip side mean….

Dirty, piling, uncompleted laundry = Unproductive, Unsuccessful Mom 

I determined my self worth as a mother in a pile of fabric. 

I’ll tell you when it all changed. 

It changed when I set parameters on my laundry. 

I’ve always been a woman who has found ease through structure. 

I decided I would only do laundry one day a week. (Let’s be honest we could do laundry every day)

And I don’t want to. 

So I do laundry on Monday until about 3:30pm when the bus comes and I don’t touch another load until the following Monday. (Unless someone throws up, pees in there bed or so on, which of course happens) 

I’ll tell you what happened when I started to do this. 

I found myself relax, I found myself spending less and less energy thinking about laundry and feeling anxious. 

Because I told myself ‘I have a plan, I don’t need to worry about it.’ 

The other thing I noticed was that I found myself being kinder to myself. Sunday afternoon would roll around and I would start gathering some of the dirty laundry and bringing it down to the washer and dryer. 

I would think, ‘Oh let me get a head start on this for Monday.’ 

I started stripping all the emotional drama around my laundry perspective, AND I put boundaries on it. 

So when 3:30pm rolls around Monday afternoon and there is still a massive pile of dirty laundry I tell myself, ‘ It’s okay we will get to that next week.’ 

And because I’m kind to myself, if I am home on a Wednesday or another day and I feel like it I’ll do a couple loads of laundry….. BECAUSE I WANT TO. 

Not because I told myself WE HAVE TO. 

I only do things I want to do, it’s one of my core values in my life. It has given me freedom.

It’s my way of being kind to myself, giving myself choices and having my own back when I need to support myself. 

Stop tying your self worth in a pile of dirty fabric, put parameters on your laundry and be kind to yourself. That is all.