What People Think of Me

I’ve always cared so deeply of what people think of me. I had made it my crusade to be well liked. 

Now this is a bit backwards. 

I want people to like me because I base how I feel about myself (Somewhat subconsciously- a bit more consciously now) on how others see me. 

What a nerve wracking and depleting experience. 

If “they” say I’m beautiful I think I’m beautiful

If “they” say I’m kind I think I’m kind

If “they” say I’m a hard worker I think I’m a hard worker

You get the idea here. 

But what about when they don’t say anything, or they say something that is not so positive. 

Such as,

She’s such a fake

A brown noser 

It’s all an illusion, she’s not really_______ (fill in the blank)

P.S (These are real examples from my life) 

At one point in my life, the thought of someone saying something bad about me or not liking me was devastating to me. Again, because I based what I thought about myself on what others thought of me. 

Of course I was devastated. 

I would use other peoples thoughts to determine my own. 

Bleh. (That makes me feel a bit sick)

Let’s venture into the science of this for a moment. If you have spent anytime studying the human brain you would know that the lower part of our brain has one job, to keep us alive. 

It is wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and preserve energy. With that there is a strong desire to have connection with the people around us. In caveman times being part of a tribe or group gave us more opportunities to stay alive. 

If we were a part of a group we had safety, we had connection and opportunities to reproduce. We had a better chance of staying alive with more means of gathering and producing food to eat. 

We are designed to want to be well liked, it kept our ancestors alive for hundreds of years. 

But now. Not so much. So what if our in laws exclude us? Or a friend doesn’t invite us to something? 

Are we in danger because someone on the internet disagrees with what we wrote on a post? 

No. 

What if we became the greatest version of ourselves regardless of what others think of us? That is my newest crusade. 

I want to like me because 

I’m brave enough to put myself out there (with daily blogs)

I have an amazing ability to love everyone

I am consistent 

I have a huge capacity of faith in God

I get up each morning and try a little harder to do a little better

What I think of myself determines who I am. Not what others think of me. Focusing on what others think of us keeps us “stuck”. It keeps us powerless, sitting around waiting and hoping to be appreciated, loved, even noticed. 

We must have the tiniest little spark of belief in ourself that WE get to determine who we will be, no one else has that ability.