Moms Who Lost Their Fun

Kids know how to have fun. They make everything fun. They are having fun while they brush there teeth, they run around and jump around while they put their laundry away. They just know how to have fun. 

But me? 

I used to be A LOT of fun. Everything I did, everywhere I went I made it a point to have fun. 

But then…. Life happened. Kids happened. 

I lost my fun. 

And I’ll tell you why…

Expectations and control take away our ability to have fun. 

When I had my oldest son my fun diminished by hmmm I would say 60%. Because I was policing all the time. I was so focused on making sure he followed through what I asked him to do. I was so worried about making sure I was doing this parenting thing right, that I lost myself. And myself IS fun. 

When I had my second son, my fun diminished even more, maybe 75%.

And my third, oh man forget about it. I don’t think I laughed for 6 months. I was a miserable, exhausted, and just the plain OPPOSITE of fun momma. 

I was so miserable I would yell at my kids for having fun. 

Oh goodness its painful to think back on that, but it’s true. I would yell at them for having fun and laughing. (This is so embarrassing, have I told you lately how hard it is to be so transparent with you all?) 

But I’ll tell you how to get your fun back, if you have a hard time having fun like me. It starts with two little words. 

Let. Go. 

Not to be confused with Frozens famous theme song, Let It Go. 

Very similar concept. 

Yes we let go of expectations we set. We let go of control. 

But to do that we have to do some work. I’ll tell you why. If we are pretty miserable where we are it is because we have created some pretty strong beliefs about what the people around us should be doing. Or a strong belief about what we should be doing. A belief is just a thought we have thought so many times it rings true to our very core. 

If you believe your children should listen the first time. We can’t just change our behavior and let them do whatever they want because guess what? You still believe that they should listen to you. Yes you can try to not yell, try to not lose your bologna but until you do the thought work, your inner core, your true self will not be able to let go. 

You can’t change your behavior without changing your thoughts. 

I know because I tried. When I first started doing some inner work on myself. I remember I listened to a Positive Solutions webinar with Amy McCreedy about ignoring the negative behavior and just praising positive. I was doing all this research on how I can be a “better mom”. Anyways I told myself that I was going to be calm, and let them do what they wanted to do. I was going to “let go”. 

Didn’t work. 

I was raging inside, I might have been acting differently (for a moment). But then I lost my mind. I was just balling my eyes out, feeling like I was having a mental breakdown because inside of me I was being torn apart. 

I was trying so hard to act differently, to make changes to be different on the outside. But inside I was battling with myself. 

How in the world can we have fun when we are in turmoil and angst INSIDE of us? 

We can’t. 

That is why to make sustainable, powerful changes in our lives. To enter into a world where we find ourselves and make fun a priority we have to do the work on the inside. 

That’s when life coaching came into play for me. I learned to take all the madness that was ping-ponging in my head and plop it down in front of my life coach so she could help me sort through and find the problem. We would find the catalyst of the problem and then explore it so I could let go, and finally make one step forward. Instead of spinning my wheels crying, exploding on the inside, and stirring up in my own mental mess I could let go of expectations, let go of control, learned to find myself again so I could be the fun momma I know I am. 

So mommas, if your not having much fun right now, its okay. We’ve been there, we wake up in the morning already miserable. We are here together. Everyday we are learning, growing and expanding. I had to hit my rock bottom to figure out my bologna and start to drag myself out of the depths of my own self inflicted hell. (Yikes that sounds so terrible, but its true.)

Do the work, find your fun. I’m here for it.  

P.S- If you want to know how to do the work and how I can help, fill out this form HERE so we can chat!