Being “there” For Our Kids

My mom, she’s pretty neat. 

She was ALWAYS there. I remember on a few very seldom occasions when I would get home from school, or somewhere else and she wasn’t home. 

I would call her up immediately and say, “where are you?”. 

She made a very conscious effort to be home when her busy teenage kids were passing through. She made the choice to be a stay at home mom and made the necessary sacrifices to do so. 

I talked about this a bit in church this weekend and wanted to share this idea with all of you. 

I’ve thought back to the crossroads I had growing up where my siblings and I would intersect with our parents on occasion. It seemed the older we got the more infrequent it got. But I knew they were always there. 

Of course we have the classic dinner time scenario. Where we all gather together, eat, talk. Yeah yeah. But my mom was creative. She was infamous for sleeping in my bed when I was out on a date. 

Yup. She’s a smart one, that one. 

She always would sleep in my bed so she knew the moment I got home. She also knew that I knew, that I was going to have to face her when I came in from being out. 

She would ask me all the questions, “who was there?” and “how did it go?”. She made an effort to create that space for us to talk, check in and of course always her top priority, making sure I knew she was there. Like literally. And of course figuratively. All the theres. 

My dad and I would crossroads, literally traveling in the car. I always remembering riding in the car with him from a very young age. We had this thing we did. He would be driving, not saying a word but would always peer back at me in his rear view mirror. He would then reach his hand in a little upward cup shape back to me and I would cup my hand in his. No words were said. No words were necessary. That was him showing his overflowing amount of love for me. 

Another one of my favorites was when I worked side by side with my parents. Especially doing dishes. There is something to be said for getting a teenager talking while working. Things would slip out of my mouth a little easier when I wasn’t eye to eye with my mom. I had a busy task in front of me, and my mouth would just go a mile a minute. My mom (and I) loved that time. 

I see it more now than ever. Being a young mom now, I see the need to be at the crossroads with my kids. Creating space for them to know they are loved, appreciated and a parent eager, willing to help and teach. 

I’ve said it once, twice a million times. 

Our only job as a parent is to love, offer help and hold our kids accountable. 

It is so simple. (But oh so hard) 

When in doubt love, love love. You will never regret love.