From Victim to Survivor to Conqueror

As long as there are humans on this earth there will be abuse. 

Humans are as imperfect as they come but I want to speak to this process and how one is to overcome this place of abuse. 

I also want to add right from the beginning that if you are in a current state of abuse there are many resources, and hotlines that are available to you. 

Today I’m speaking to my women who have endured lengthy amounts of mental, or physical abuse. The women who are close in my world who I have seen struggle, endure, and slowly drag themselves forward amongst it all. 

I also have watched my own family members be the abusers, and how they overcame the shame, embarrassment and begin to make things right through recompense and restitution. 

I want to begin with the lonely victim. “Those who have experienced abuse, or violence may be left with this idea that these events were somehow your fault and that you deserve to carry the shame and guilt you feel.” -Patrick Kearnon

These provide as a barrier from the help from those around you. 

I’ve seen the effects of abuse in a very real and intimate way, for not only those who fell victim of abuse for the abuser themself. 

I may be judged for expressing this perspective but I want to share what I’ve seen. 

I’ve seen both sides. 

Both are terrible and unfortunate but I know there is a way out for both parties. 

I think of the women who have endured this abuse and the effects on their life. As they fall victim to these circumstances they begin to think that there was a reason for their abuse. They have experienced embarrassment, shame, and withdrawal from their life because they erroneously believe that they have something to do with the fact that they were a part of this abuse. 

To move from victim to survivor we take inventory of what circumstances we have experienced. There are erroneous thinking patterns that leave us in a victim mentality that keeps us stuck. 

Some examples of these painful thoughts are: 

 ‘what did I do wrong?’

‘I could have prevented this.’ 

‘God doesn’t love me anymore.’

‘I am damaged beyond repair.’

These thoughts keep us stuck, they keep us in a space where we don’t seek the help we need. We stay isolated in our own despair, our own shame and embarrassment. 

You think that just one day you will feel better, but I can promise you that until you can do the work and let go of the past, then all will be released. That through professional help and work you can move forward and become a survivor. 

When you truly believe that the abuse was not, is not and never will be your fault, no matter what the abuser or anyone else has ever said. When you understand that you are not responsible for what has happened, THEN you truly can look back and see that you are free from it. 

Then you are the conqueror. You have moved through the emotional and physical pain you have endured through trauma. You have made peace with it, and now you rise above. 

You feel powerful, strong and certain. You know your divine role. You rise above to play that role. To empower yourself AND the people around you. You’ve forgiven and let go because you know you are meant for so so much more than spending your time “stuck”, weighed down and exhausted from living in a victim life and prison. You rise above, and you are reborn into the whole, free, powerful woman that you were always destined to become. This is my prayer, this is possible for YOU!