Healthy Communication
The last week or so I have had laryngitis. I was trying to squeak out anything I could to communicate.
Not being able to speak as a mom, wife and employee is detrimental.
I’ve been trying to communicate the best I can by whispering, or using hand gestures.
Communication is essential to anything and everything. In a relationship, job responsibility, really anything and everything.
I have become an expert in communicating. I have perfected the art of conversation, but more importantly creating space of clarity and discussion.
Communication is the bridge between clarity and confusion.
Therefore communication is the lifeline to any relationship, because a confused mind says no. It shuts down.
The amount of conversation or dare I say the quality of that conversation between a married couple has a direct correlation between the foundation of their relationship.
Now keep in mind we absolutely can have a relationship without ever speaking to someone. A relationship consists of a collaboration of thoughts based on a person.
But to have a fluid, live, “working” relationship, one where your raising kids together, overcoming challenges, working side by side in life, yeah that one…. Communication is essential.
And I insist on adding “healthy communication”.
Because we sure can communicate in unhealthy ways, like “lacking communication”. One of the famous amongst married couples is “stone-walling”. This is when we give our partner the silent treatment. We are communicating that we are not happy with the other person, with the intentions of “punishing” them.
Also their is “controlling communication” where we are talking with our partner in the hopes of them to change. We are manipulating the dynamic, our focus has nothing to do with expressing our real thoughts and feelings (because we haven’t taken the time to understand them), but more with the focus on changing the behavior of our partner.
And of course “attacking communication” which again is where we are completely focused on what they are doing wrong, bringing the attention to the partner….
Opposed to “healthy communication” where we learn to ‘fight fair’ believe it or not. Where we have total clarity on what we are thinking and feeling and are able to communicate it, in the best interest of the relationship.
Now you might not hear this from most relationship coaches but I speak for myself when I tell you this, I share absolutely everything with my partner. Probably to fault. But I do because again, communication is the bridge between clarity in confusion.
A lot of the times I work through all the confusion in my mind through a conversation with that loving husband I have. I tell him all the things on my mind, what I’m not sure about and through a gentle, kind listener I am able to “work through” things.
I’m so amazed when working with my mommas I see how they have strong opinions, big feelings but they choose to not share them with their partner. I’ll tell you why that is.
Conversations can be uncomfortable if we don’t have the confidence and security in ourselves to share. But more importantly if we don’t feel “safe” in our relationship, we have built a relationship based on fear. We fear the reaction of our partner, therefore we choose not to share. By doing this we create more and more disconnection.
Not all conversations are powerful, positive talks. Sometimes the hard things need to be sad and its uncomfortable.
But when we look at the health of our relationship as a whole we see that to serve our unit as a whole we need to bring our authentic, real truths to the table. We want to tell the ones we love our greatest triumphs, biggest fears, and current struggles. We want to create that space where we can love unconditionally, bring in all of it.
As always, if you struggle to learn your truth, and speak your truth I would be honored to help you. I am an expert in communication, I shine here. I love to jump in and see what needs to be said and the best way to do so. If you want to know more click HERE for a free Relationship Evaluation Call. You won’t regret it!
