Passion Possibilities

Passion isn’t something we have or don’t have, we create it. 

Think to the most passionate time in your marriage, most likely when you were first together. What did that feel like to have that experience? How did it feel when you couldn’t get enough of your partner? When you wanted them at any given moment? How did that feel in your body to have passion driving you? 

Amazing, right?? 

But then, it fizzles right? We get to a point where we don’t have this intense energy that is driving us to connect with our partner. We actually might find ourselves in the opposite situation where we are doing everything we can to avoid our partner, even repulsed by them at one point or another. 

Yup, that happens. 

So what I want to offer you today is that WE generate passion in our lives, and in our marriage. It is not something that we either have or don’t have. It’s not something we lose, we just stopped creating it. 

If you’ve been following me for some time you know what I’m going to say next… we create our emotions with our thoughts. 

So it’s not that you just happened to be more passionate when you were first together, its what you were THINKING about your partner that created that intense, unstoppable, exhilarating passion in your relationship. 

But then something else can happen. After we’ve been together for some time we subconsciously or even consciously create expectations instead of passion. 

Expectations smother passion, like a bucket of wet leaves on a roaring fire. 

When we create expectations on how the husband should behave or not behave it leaves us so focused on what partner is doing and we are creating a conditional love that is driving us. We are waiting, and wanting them to behave a certain way so we can love them. 

YUCK! (Guilty here)

Sometimes we, okay I. Sometimes we think that we don’t have passion in our marriage because of what our husband is or isn’t doing. We think its our husbands job to make us happy. Or we think its our jobs job to make us happy. It’s OUR job, and our job alone to generate any emotion. And this might feel a bit foreign to you. We start to truly believe that the outside circumstances are what determine how we feel. 

We believe that the actions of others determine how we feel. Like if my husband was different we would have a more intimate, romantic, and passionate marriage. 

Wake up Momma! 

We generate the passion in our lives, if you’re not passionate its because you aren’t practicing creating it. 

Thoughts create passion, thoughts are the fuel we pour onto an open flame. It creates a roaring wild fire, that’s unstoppable. That’s the fuel for passion.

I am a pretty passionate gal, I am passionate about my career. Everyday at the salon I talk about how much I love what I do. I talk (AND THINK) about all the reasons I love where I work, who I work with and the work that I do. Thinking that way generates a powerful feeling of passion and zeal. When we are passionate we do things differently. We wake up with purpose and reason. It magnetizes us to create more and more of it. 

I am passionate about my marriage. Everyday (well most days) I talk about how much I adore my man. I talk to my clients about what I love about him, I tell him all the things I cherish about him and how much he means to me. I flood my mind with all the things I love about him, and how I can’t wait to see him at the end of the night. 

I practice everyday, I practice thinking about the things I want to have passion for in my life. 

Now this is the part I should tell you that there of course are times in our marriage where there is NO passion, no excitement, no driving force pushing us to connect. This might be right where you are. And that’s okay. Love yourself right where you are and know that we are just one thought away from changing the entire trajectory of our marriage and our life. Passion is possible for you, in your current marriage. Sexy, powerful, passionate, pleasurable intimacy is possible for YOU. I promise you! 

P.S. BIG NEWS! ****May 1st I am launching my 20 week program where I help women reignite the spark in themselves to create more passion in their marriage. Click HERE to apply!