When We Are Sad, Mad, or Just Pissed Off

Learning how to process emotions is not taught really at any stage of the game. Or at all really. What happens is we truly don’t know how to deal with these “big emotions” and we develop different coping mechanisms throughout our life. 

We learn to avoid, ignore. We start finding things that can cover up some of the pain like food, and social media, even online shopping. 

I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s true. We really don’t know how to handle emotions. 

Let me give you a little emotions 101. 

There are three things we can do with emotions, we can fight them, flight from them, or feel them. 

Yeah, we see it in the movies all the time. When your angry you yell, scream, blame others and throw things. That feels useful. There is so much energy and we think that by reacting to emotions that we are “feeling them”. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

Reacting to emotions doesn’t actually allow our body to process them. 

Same goes for “flight mode”. An emotion comes our way and we avoid it at all cost, we ignore it, we shove it under the rug, instead we find things that make us feel “good”. We flee to the pantry, we flee to our phone, to anything and everything that can give us a little dopamine hit. Again this doesn't actually allow us to process our emotions. 

And then that leaves us with the FEEL option. This is the foreign concept. So many of the women I work with have never allowed there body to actually process an emotion. We’ve developed tendencies over the years and we’ve built strong neuro pathways around this opportunity. We do this because our brain HATES negative emotion, it avoids it at all cost. 

And when I say ALL COST, I really mean ALL COST. We find ourself in a big predicament because what once was helpful,(our brain avoiding negative emotion) is now detrimental. It costs us our relationships, our health, literally everything because of this idea that we should avoid negative emotion. 

But I digress, feeling is the actually ability for our body to manifest an emotion. An emotion is just a vibration in our body. 

It only takes 90 seconds to process an emotion, or we could let avoiding it ruin our life as we know it. 

So I love to teach my clients the STOP method. This is a method I picked up from one of my coaching girlfriends Ashley Jangro. 

S

T

O

P

S- Slow down, step away 

In this step we give ourself the time and space to be able to process an emotion. We can’t always process it “in the moment” so we give ourself some time to do so. What’s amazing is our brain doesn’t know the difference between “real time” and “reliving” in the moment. Take a moment to think about that concept. We could go to a moment in time, years and years later and still experience the same emotion caused by the same thought. Crazy right???

T-Take Control

This is when we take over our brain and take inventory of our thoughts, our feelings, all of it. We take ownership over what has been created and start to slow down things so we can process. 

O- Observe

This is when we get out of our head a bit and into our body. We stop thinking so much about why we feel sad, mad, frustrated or just pissed off. And start thinking about what it “feels” like. Whats happening in your body? Where is the emotion manifesting? 

P- Process

Again, it only takes 90 seconds to process an emotion. I love knowing this scientific truth because it brings me a little peace. Give yourself literally 90 seconds to “feel”. For everyone of my clients they process emotions differently. Some of my clients like to write things down, some of my clients like to close there eyes and tune into their body, some just sit and stare at the wall. Whatever you need to do, to let it come and pass through you. 

Why am I telling you all of this? 

Well because, if we don’t learn how to process negative emotion it wreaks havoc in our lives. For anyone who wants to create SUBSTANTIAL CHANGE in their lives, THIS is where we start. We learn how to process emotions so we can let go of the past, move forward and feel on purpose! We learn more about ourselves, about who we are and how we respond to things. Just as our child is sad and lonely and struggling in a moment, that is how we give ourself love in that moment. 

We learn to meet ourself right where we are, we learn to love ourself, have compassion and let yourself be! Through these experiences we can continue to love ourself, light that spark in ourself and become more of who we are destined to become! It’s a beautiful things my sweet mommas. If you would like some help with processing emotions, it is my absolute specialty. Come to me! Bring me all the emotions and let’s get to work! Set up a FREE relationship Evaluation call HERE!