Yelling Momentum
This morning we were trying to get up and moving to get to camp. I was feeling overwhelmed with all the list of things I needed to do before we could leave.
So I just start yelling.
I yell until people start doing things.
I think people doing things will make me feel better.
And honestly, it does a little.
But at what cost?
What am I teaching my children?
Now I will never judge a yelling mom. It makes my heart sing a bit because it makes me feel like I’m not alone. But I digress…
When we yell to motivate, we are teaching our children that things outside of us make us feel better.
Which isn’t true.
Our thoughts about said things, is what changes the way we feel.
But when we behave that way we are supporting this idea that love and attention is conditional.
That if they behave a certain way they won’t have to be yelled at. If mom feels better, then they can feel better.
This is history repeating itself for thousands and thousands of years. It is the passion behind my work. I am trying to hard to break apart these old beliefs. A belief that rang so true for me.
I thought if I did everything I was supposed to do as a child I wouldn’t get in trouble and my parents would love and appreciate me.
I thought my emotions were dependent on other peoples emotions.
FALSE!
We are all in control of our own emotions.
I can run around and yell at my kids and they don’t have to feel anything. They can recognize that I am a human momma and have days I yell. It really has nothing to do with them.
That’s not to say that they won’t feel discouraged and down. They very likely could but it is by their own choices.
My job as a mom is to be real. To own my own emotions. To have compassion for myself when I yell. It’s not my favorite thing, but I am a human and I’m going to try to delegate my responsibility to feel my own emotions. That’s what human beings do.
So Momma, I know you yell. We all do sometimes. We are just being a human, trying to feel better. Give yourself a little grace, love yourself right where you are so you can own your results and give yourself a little more momentum.
